The Ten Key Practices for Developing Self Support: Introduction
You deserve more than shortcuts, techniques, and hacks.
(and by the way–there aren’t any anyway…)
AND THERE ARE HABITS, PRACTICES AND ATTITUDES, THAT YOU CAN CULTIVATE THAT CAN TRANSFORM YOUR LIFE with time, practice, patience and gentle discipline.
Let's be clear: There are a lot of people out there who are trying to sell us into believing that it is possible to think our way to health, well being, wholeness and belonging. They want us to believe that somehow acquiring information will be enough to catalyze transformation.
However, you are a vastly more beautiful and mysterious creature than the thinking mind can even partially grasp or fathom. As the saying goes, “What got you here, won’t get you there.” Sadly, so many people throw in the towel on themselves, their relationship challenges, and vital change because they perceive themselves and understand themselves in such a limited way. This limited understanding will be compounded if you grew up in a traumatized or addicted family system. Addiction and Trauma distorts and wounds our self perception. These misperceptions can be healed over time in the therapeutic process, and by cultivating habits of self support.
I think it is important to understand why there are no shortcuts, detours, or quick fixes for changing our self perceptions. The fundamental thing we all want to remember is, we are creative, relational beings that have an innate and deeply wired need for belonging. Attempting to apply a technique as an overlay to your problems and challenges negates both the complexity and mystery of who you are, and also the intricate nuances of our vastly interconnected world.
We need to remember this truth, because our current cultural context and social media perpetuates and makes us believe in a very different and distorted version of reality. The media we consume is based on the supposition that information is enough, and more information is better. In fact the opposite is true: The relentless acquiring of information diminishes our finer attributes as human beings and most often can deepen the neural pathways of rejection, failure and despair. The question then becomes how do we truly support healthy change and growth, especially in light of the fact that we are suffering from a collective addiction not only to media consumption but to technology as a whole?
In Gestalt Therapy the concept of Self Support is powerful. We encourage our clients to understand and explore their self awareness, sensations and emotions as a resource for navigating life. The challenge for all of us is that technology pulls our attention away from self awareness, sensation, and it numbs us from our emotions.
Our mind, body and psyches are being shaken–and shaped–by the beginning stages of the Technological Revolution. If we stand any chance of healing, we must include this historical perspective in our awareness. If it wasn’t enough that our families and schools contributed to our limited sense of Self, we are now tragically using technology to deepen those distortions. Our capacity for healing relies on us putting limits on our technology exposure, while simultaneously strengthening our capacities for Self Support.
In the coming blogs I will explore “The Ten Key Practices for Developing Self Support.” The exciting news is these practices are scientifically validated, and most often the gains are felt in short order.
Until the next blog: I challenge you to track your technology usage.
